Hell's Innocent Voice
by Your.Boyfriend's.Gynecologist
Summary: If hell could speak to the land in which we, the wretched, reside...would it's lips drip with lies...or tell the truth we convince ourselves that we know...? RaeBB RobStar Fluff and Gore...A strange combination.


Greetings and Salutations, users of the FanFiction Network. Nice to see you again…and if this is the first time I've seen you…then…WHY HAVEN'T YOU READ MY FIRST STORY! What's wrong with you! Are you trying to kill me with your excessive reading! Stop reading this and go read 'Listen to the Rhythm' ((A Gynecologist Production)), damn you! You're crazy! All of you are crazed maniacs of the government here to send me back to the men with the white coats!

And if you happen to have already read my first story…well…good for you. Wanna cookie? Go buy a pack, and give me one while you're at it! –Sigh- I know you're not going.

Well, surprisingly this chapter was more than just the product of an all-nighter I pulled. It actually took a bit longer. Surprised? Nope…didn't think so. Anyways, I'd like to say thank you to those who commented on my last story and I hope I meet the expectations you've set for me, even though this is just the second time I've written a story. Eh…none the less…

Also, this is my first chapter story, so, yeppers…I hope you enjoy it as much as I hated typing it. Ok, now that I'm done with my usually hilarious author's notes ((Ugh…my comedy well was a bit dry today)), I suppose I could start my story. Or…I could prolong the randomness for a while longer.

You know what I love? I love Outkast. They're so great. I love Andre 3000 the most, but I can't say that I don't like Big Boi. He's cool, but Andre's just so multi-functional. He's like a sextuple threat in the entertainment business. ((Yeah, I can use big words too, not saying I understand them, though.)) He's also pretty darn cute for a rapper. Provided he's not the finest guy in the business, but the man can dress, except for when he pulls that blonde wig out. Damn…that was a funny day. All right, well, I suppose my ramblings are over now. On with the show!

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You know what I just remembered? I love that movie the Moulin Rouge. They sang that one song "The Show Must Go On" so nicely. Dang I love that movie. Oh, right… the story…enjoy…**

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**DISCLAIMER:** Sadly, I do not own the Teen Titans. Or so I'm told…Maybe I _do_ own them but those 'people' aren't telling me! Darn you people! STOP LYING TO ME! .:Curls up into a ball and whimpers:.

Sadly, I do not own the Teen Titans. Or so I'm told…Maybe I own them but those 'people' aren't telling me! Darn you people! STOP LYING TO ME! .:Curls up into a ball and whimpers:. 

**-Hell's Innocent Voice -**

"Raven, help me!" A shrill, female voice squealed, muffled by something.

Two shining, violet eyes looked up reluctantly from black, bolded text, annoyed to survey a scene, which could've only been expected from who other than…Beast Boy.

The small kitchenette area neighboring the living room had disappeared under fluffs of white, weightless bubbles. They floated carelessly through the air in a peaceful manner. However the calm was interrupted by the sound of metal clashing with metal. Though it was barely visible, soap was seeping out of every crevice of the dishwasher, which shook unmercifully, the producer of the horrible, screeching sounds. The entire kitchen set, which had been the loyal dining ware of the Titans for years, was either shrouded in a soapy grave or covered with the sticky substance. As one strode across the scene, if you looked carefully enough, one could see a single green hand waving about frantically around in all of the mess. The hand sunk slowly back into the white mound of fluff.

Raven allowed a single, short sigh escape her lips as she floated effortlessly from her declared spot on the living room couch. Pulling up the sleeve to the navy, cotton turtleneck she was wearing, her hand thrust into the mountain of soap and bubbles. Her arm slid back out a moment later, a white shirt intertwined in her fingers, its owner wearing a nervous smile, along with a good amount of soap on his face.

"Oh look, a prize…" She said, dry humor in her dull voice. Pulling his green, soap encased body from the mound, she waved her hand fluidly, causing the bubbles to part, having no say in the matter. A path was cleared in the direction of the dishwasher, which was still shaking as if going through convulsions. Her eyes inspected it until, she made a quick conclusion. With a flick of her pale finger, she turned the knob on the outside of the washer from 'Light Wash' to 'Off'. The washer was immediately silenced, with the exception of the low buzz it always emitted at the end of each job.

Raven turned to face BB, who was staring at the washer, dumbfounded by how easy that was.

"Ok, no need to be a smartass." He snapped, reading her expression. Rae flashed him a quick, false smile, raising a 'selective' finger to him. He smirked, amused that he'd angered her, and surveyed the, otherwise, empty living quarters. With that, he trudged up the small flight of stairs up to the hallway, going to his room to change. He swept some bubbles off of his shirt as he walked, already contemplating his outfit.

Raven merely folded her arms and watched him go. The sliding doors to the hallway slid open with their usual sound as he approached them. She flinched as she watched his muscular back leave the room. It took mere moments for her to realize what she'd been doing. Sighing, she walked back over to the couch. Her book, which she'd set on the far side of the couch floated to her hand quickly. Opening it to the correct page, she traced her finger across the page to find her place. The soap bubbles fizzled in a quiet manner, as the living room grew silent.

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The innocent, orange angel of the Titans drifted along through the halls, humming an old Tamaranian folk tune in her head. As usual, it was boisterous as ever, but her humming was a sweet substitution. While her eyes glittered brightly when she came across her fellow teammate, Beast Boy, she was confused as to how white bubbles had gathered around his mouth. Debating whether or not to ask if he had the 'rabies', which she had, proudly, learned about from one of her favorite television programs, she, unknowingly, had glided her way into the living room and was on a collision course with the semi-circular couch. Still fully unaware, poor Starfire flipped over the sofa and beside Raven, who continued her reading, despite the sudden disturbance.

"Hello friend, Raven!" Her cheerful voice seemed to brighten the room. "Would you like to join me in the adorning of paint to the enamel of the toes?" Raven's eyes looked up to see her polar opposite. Star's 'Hello Kitty' baby blue tank top matched the white jeans, which she wore perfectly, though the cool colors conflicted with her shimmering, strawberry hair. Raven, who wore clothes that were a bit more 'formal' in taste, was quite comfortable in her navy, cotton turtleneck, which hugged her pale throat, and black slacks. Two giant, fuzzy, black penguin heads sufficed as her slippers. ((**A/N: Now…look at that sentence without the word 'fuzzy' in it. I got a kick out of that one**.)) Giving in to the pathetic expression that could drive anyone wild, Raven gave in. "Eh…sure Star." She returned. Star squealed quietly with delight, being this was the first time in her seventeen years of living, though she hadn't known Raven quite that long, that she'd had a chance to interact in the 'foot-painting' ceremony with Raven. Somehow, she had brought Robin into participating before, but that was another matter.

After a few panging minutes, filled with shrieks of pain and 'choice words' from Raven's tongue, due to the alien's powerful grip on her pale toes, Star's emerald eyes gleamed with pleasure at the work she'd done on Raven's toes. The design on them was marvelously crafted. Having chosen a dull silver tone for her toes, Star had taken the liberty of painting blue and purple swirls over it. Raven marveled at her abuse-ridden toes and gave Star a gratified smile. Star squealed again taking the nod of approval in the best of ways.

"Good job Star…Even though I don't know how you learned how to do such things as painting nails.," Raven said, still looking at her feet.

"I learned the trade from our own friend Beast Boy.," She replied, fully unaware of what kind of information she had just divulged.

Raven didn't have it in her to suppress her laughter. So, she chuckled, but in the darkest way she could muster. Star looked at her, confused as to why she'd find her statement amusing. But a laugh was a laugh, so not wanting to appear numbed to the joke, she contributed to the laughter with a lighthearted giggle.

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"2 o' clock. Where the hell is BB? Lord knows he can't get through the day without his video game butt-whoopin'." Cyborg exclaimed. He tapped his heavy foot against the carpet in the living room, making a low thumping noise. At exactly 2:01, the sliding doors whisked open to reveal a freshened up Beast Boy. His new attire was a bit…odd…to say the least.

Green hair slicked back with hell knows what kind of putrid smelling grease; the gallons of cologne he must have bathed in overruled the stench of it. A shirtless, green chest was covered by a black, Spanish vest, which was adorned with a false red rose over his right vest pocket. A pair of black leather pants completed his strange ensemble, being he wore no shoes on his feet.

Walking with an obvious air of either arrogance or pride about him, BB made his way over to the empty couch. However, the sight of Raven from the corner of his eye stopped him. He'd get his verbal abuse over with first, and then take his graphical, pixilated abuse.

Raven was cleaning up the rest of the mess from the 'dishwasher incident', which she'd neglected for the last two hours. Starfire was helping sort between the good dishes, and the ones that had shattered. Robin, who had offered to help, was sitting on a countertop; watching the two ladies work their way through the mess, ready to jump at the chance to help.

"So…Rae…how you like the new look?" Beast Boy said, in the most nonchalant manner he could bring himself to produce.

Raven took a look over his attire. "Congratulations Beast Boy. You've found a way to make yourself look like even more of an idiot." She returned, a bit of strain in her voice as she mopped the floor. A persistantly annoying strand of purple hair fell into her face.

Beast Boy had expected such a comment, so he merely shrugged it off and sat himself in the middle of the couch. Cyborg took his spot beside him as the sound of the GameStation 3's 'on' melody flooded both of their ears. The race was on only seconds later as, once again, two teenagers whittled their lives away to nothing on a product made to numb people to the Earth around themselves.

Wiping a strain of sweat from her forehead, Starfire blew a frustrated breath from her lungs. The two females had finally finished their volunteered chore.

"This was much more straining then you described it to be, Raven.," She said, feeling she had been mislead into some strange form of Earth torture.

"I asked if you wanted me to help...," Robin sighed, trying to make them feel sorry for denying him the privilege, while pushing himself from the counter. His tennis shoes made a loud screech as landed on the tile below him. Starfire's arms snaked their way around his neck as she hung from his neck. "Do not despair, Robin. I will be sure to include you in our next cleaning activity." She said, smiling. Robin's cheeks flushed a bit pink when he felt her touch. However, his face began to turn slightly red as well, as Star forgot completely about her abnormal strength. Releasing him from her grip, Robin coughed, but still managed to make his classic egomaniacal smirk slightly, as his face returned to its normal pigment.

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"Umm…Beast Boy…is that leather you're wearing," Raven's monotone voice twisted into somehow showing emotion.

"Yes actually. Like 'em," BB declared, with a wide toothed grin.

"Beast Boy, do you know what leather's made from?" She questioned, raising a slender eyebrow.

BB stood to his full height from his former position, slouching back with his elbows leaning against the counter top in the sparkling clean, lemon-scented kitchen. "Yeah…Course I do…" He replied, with an over-confident tone.

Raven sighed. She knew he wasn't going to let up on his failing attempt to be cool. "Eh…whatever…I just hope you didn't know that cow…," She said in a dull tone. Pulling her book back in front of her eyes, she crossed her legs from her sitting position on the glinting tile counter.

BB looked at her and then back down at his shining pants. Raising his eyebrow he asked, "What are you talking about?" He tried to ask it with a mysterious air.

It failed. "Leather is usually made from cow skins. But it also can be made from alligators, pigs, goats, dogs, cats, and even kangaroos." Raven said in her emotional manner. She almost took pleasure in watching Beast Boy's reaction. Once again, he had been dumbfounded.

BB looked down at his pants and uttered a squeal in terror. Raven wasn't at all surprised when he screamed, but what he did next was highly unexpected. Taking the waist of his pants in hand, Beast Boy ripped his pants off in a cataclysmic fashion, as if it were a transformation gone wrongbytheIncredible Hulk. As the pants fluttered to the floor in tatters, so did Raven. The overhead lamps above the both of them shattered, causing the room to dim. She fell to the ground, overcome by the sight of Beast Boy in his boxers. Years before, when he was basically a short stick with spiky hair she wouldn't have reacted in such a fashion. But after the years of using the gym for reasons beyond hiding his stash of Mike and Ike's, he'd turned out to be, what normal, giddy, teenage girls might've considered a 'hunk'. Now on the floor, Raven was literally immobilized, as if she'd been drugged up. Beast Boy left her there, running back into the hallway, trying to get back to his room.

"Raven! Are you unharmed," Star's voice floated into her ears. Her gaze was met with two violet eyes seconds later. Star was knelt over Raven, while Robin stood behind her. "I'm fine…what happened?" She asked, having forgotten everything after BB scream. A panging sensation shattered her thoughts, though it only lasted for a few seconds. With a sigh, Raven brought herself to her feet, even though Star offered her help.

"We heard you scream." Robin said after a short, awkward silence.

"You should know better, by now. That was Beast Boy." Raven replied, chuckling to herself.

"He does have the ability to achieve abnormally high vocal ranges," Starfire chimed in.

"Are you guys talking about me again," BB said, entering the room from the usual entrance. "I know you love me but the least thing you could do was wait for me to grace you with my presence."

Robin rolled his eyes, though his mask didn't make it at all evident. Raven sighed and Starfire was simply silent. "Fine then…I know three people who aren't going to be invited to my 'Vogue' photo shoot." Beast Boy said, in an obviously sarcastic tone. He'd had his fill of appearing gay today.

In that instant…the doorbell sounded.

Immediately, a visual of whoever was outside of the door popped up on screen of the movie-screen sized television. Three men, clad in black suits and ties were outside, with the most perfect of posture. It seemed like a scene straight out of 'The Matrix'. At that exact moment, Cyborg waltzed into the room, watching Beast Boy and Robin's movements. They exchanged glances for a split second, signaling that it was on

Cyborg raced for the hallway door as the green cheetah, known formally as BB, jetted towards the door. Robin had escaped from everyone's sight in the moment. Raven and Starfire exchanged confused glances as the race continued through the hallway.

BB was in the lead until a stream of blue light singed his slender tail. Growling in ferocious pain, he slammed to a stop over to the side of the hallway, turned racetrack. Cyborg ran towards the front door, seemingly in the clear until a small spider monkey crawled onto him, blocking his vision. Propelling himself, using Cyborg's face as leverage, the, now, kangaroo projected away from Cyborg, causing him to collapse backwards. The kangaroo hopped off, laughing hysterically until a flash of black fluttered down from above, landing right in front of the front door. Robin landed at the front door first, claiming his title, yet again, followed by Beast Boy and Cyborg. Starfire and Raven walked after them, discussing something that had to do with homosexuals and the mating ritual.

"State your business.,'' Robin greeted the three agent rip-offs as he did to everyone.

One of the men, adjusting his tie, could feel the heat of Robin's masked eyes on him. Clearing his throat, he returned Robin with the same unfeeling tone that Robin had acknowledged him with.

"Rachel Roth…" The four of them looked back and forth, exchanging glances among each other. "We don't know a Ra-"

"Yes?" Everyone turned back to see the root from which the familiar, monotone voice had stemmed. Raven stepped forward from the back of the crowd.

The man looked at her for a moment, his sunglasses glinting in the pure, natural light of the outdoors. "Rachel Roth…We have a warrant for your arrest."

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Well…Yes, that's about it for this chapter. I'm so sorry that Beast Boy appeared a bit 'gay'. I think I over did it. I'm also sure that I put a few characters OOC. I'm also kind of upset that I suck at writing things that aren't dramatic. I'll try and do better in the next chapter. –Sigh- Thanks for reading this though.

Please review, but I'd like you to be honest and give constructive criticism. As usual, comments are well appreciated but **FLAMERS WILL BE GIVEN CUPCAKES**. Muahahaha! Beware my completely random humor!

The Doctor is Out…


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